Wednesday, April 27, 2011

silent and disturbed

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I had a really fun Wordless Wednesday post in mind that I wanted to put together today.  But, I can't.  Because fun doesn't belong here.  Fun does not belong anywhere near what is stuck in my head. 


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I have been blessed in my life to not have to deal with abuse.  The domestic and sexual kind.  But it hit home last night.  No, not because I was hit.  But, my neighbor friend was.  By.her.husband.  In front of many members of our cul-de-sac community.

I did not witness it.  But, I did hear what happened. 

Two punches.  PUNCHES.to.the.face! 

Another man intervened and broke it up.  And now I am broke up.

My heart and soul ache for my friend.  My heart and soul ache for their children.  Their children, who are innocent bystanders to the abuse at the hands of this poor, pathetic excuse of a man.  Their father.  I have no doubt they, too, have witnessed and experience this same abuse.  And that makes me extremely sad.

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But, here I am silent.  Except to purge all of my overwhelming feelings here.  Where they seem safe and tucked away.  But, why?  Why do I feel the need to remain silent?

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Growing up, I wasn't so much taught this - but it is what I learned and how I lived my life.  I STAY OUT OF IT!  Unless it affects me or those I love....I STAY OUT OF IT!  I mind my own business.  My mom, on the other hand, would be completely disappointed with me.  Because in this instance, she would NOT stay out of it.  My mom would have confronted that man.  That night.  Heck, she probably would have jumped in to break it up.  That is just my mom. 

But...I am NOT my mom. 

Still...something is telling me I am WRONG this time. 

But there is an element of danger and violence that could reign down on me for stepping up and saying something.  Is that a risk I am willing to take? 

Why does she stay?  Why would she put up with continuous abuse?  She feels there is no way out, I am sure of it.  I am so torn. 

Even though I did not witness this first hand, I know it happened.  And I cannot live with myself knowing this and still doing nothing.  And my neighbors too, right?! 

I am We are just as guilty as him if I we don't speak up.  And stop the violence.

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So instead of being silent and disturbed....how do I become LOUD and CONFIDENT and JUST?!?!

just 1 (jst)

adj.
1. Honorable and fair in one's dealings and actions: a just ruler.
2. Consistent with what is morally right; righteous: a just cause.
3. Properly due or merited: just deserts.
4. Law Valid within the law; lawful: just claims.
5. Suitable or proper in nature; fitting: a just touch of solemnity.
6. Based on fact or sound reason; well-founded: a just appraisal.

6 comments:

carrie1 said...

What a horrible thing to deal with. I would probably do the same thing and just keep out of it.. knowing that I should probably say something, but the fear of something happening to me as well.

Summer said...

Wow that is terrible Meli! What a horrible thing to have to deal with, witness, your friend and her children to go through just heart breaking! I am with you girl, I would want to say something so bad but at the same time would probably keep out of it for fear of something happening to me or my family since the crazy loon lives so close, what a hard predictiment to be in pretty girl, when I worry about something I pray about it and usually get a sign from above of what to do...

love you
SUms

Summer Athena said...

meli, i am so sorry. i hate this so much. grrrrrrr. hugging you tightly.

Melissa said...

Horrible. Such a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when I read that.

I would want to say something but I know - myself - that in fear of something happening to myself/my family...I wouldn't. Pretty lame excuse huh?

I say try to be there for her & the kids. Try to take their minds off the fighting & onto something good. Whether it be giving them old toys of Layla's or maybe a gift certificate for food...or whatever. Just knowing that someone is thinking of them could make their day a lot better.

{hugs!!}

Kayla said...

Maybe confronting him isn't the answer, but trying to help her instead. Is there a way to get to her without him around? Even if you can't "do" anything, she may be grateful to have someone to talk to.

undomestic chica said...

What a tough situation. Im so sorry honey. My mom helped her friend get away THREE times before she finally left for good. I think the best thing you can do, is support the woman and her kids. People who are abusive are irrational and there's no telling what they'd do to you, I'd hate for something terrible to happen to you too.

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