Tuesday, January 31, 2012

so bad I can't even publish them here

I just thought my dreams were starting to "taper off" in the brutal, hostile, violent area...but I was wrong.  They were more distrurbing this weekend than they ever have been.  And that alone is disgusting. 

They are so upsetting I cannot and will not subject you to anymore.  I just save a draft.  And will never hit publish.  And I don't need to since they replay over and over in my waking mind. 

Although I won't say what it is I have drempt, some meaning, according to dreammoods.com:

*represents your raw emotions or immoral behaviors.

*indicate anger and aggression directed at you or someone else.

*symbolizes your passive and docile nature. You obey others without question. Alternatively, it represents maternal instincts or the desire to be cared for.

*suggests that you are experiencing some confrontation in your waking life. You feel victimized in a situation or that you are being targeted.

I promise people...I could NOT make this stuff up if I tried.  And trust - I am surely not trying. 

I use to love to dream.  Now I hate it.  And I teach my daughter not to hate anything.  I need relief. 

And I suppose these are called nightmares, not dreams. 


On a brighter note, I will be getting that MRI that I need so desperately.  Waiting for the center to call for scheduling now...


God knows I am trying....


I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?

~ John Lennon


Baby Shopaholic said...

So do you get any sleep? I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Is there no meds for this?

drollgirl said...

terrible dreams are no good. no good at all! i hope the worries and problems in your life disappear (if they are causing these nightmares) so that you can sleep easy again!

and i hope the mri test results are good and that you get the answers you are looking for!

Kelly at My Colorful Cottage said...

Meli I haven't been on in so long and just recently began to check blogs and blog again but I am so sorry to hear this is happening to such a sweet person...I truly hope you get the rest you need so badly very soon, you will be in my prayers:)

Rachel {Da Paura ♥} said...

I hope your dreams lighten up a bit! So awful and frustrating. Wishing you good luck with your MRI too, take care of yourself!


Tia said...

Good luck, hopefully this is over for you soon!!

carrie1 said...

Here's to hoping you get your MRI soon! And in the mean time I hope the bad dreams let you have a break soon.

undomestic chica said...

I love that you're writing them down, even if you never publish. I keep hearing what a good release journaling is (and everyone keeps telling me to do it. Oops!) I hope you're getting some kind of relief by writing it down, even though I'm sure it's not enough. Again, I'm only a text or email away.

Taylor Morgan said...

I hope your nightmares stop! It really can ruin your days. I know the feeling. Here's to wishing you SWEET dreams! :) xoxo have a good night!

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