Tuesday, January 31, 2012

so bad I can't even publish them here

I just thought my dreams were starting to "taper off" in the brutal, hostile, violent area...but I was wrong.  They were more distrurbing this weekend than they ever have been.  And that alone is disgusting. 

They are so upsetting I cannot and will not subject you to anymore.  I just save a draft.  And will never hit publish.  And I don't need to since they replay over and over in my waking mind. 

Although I won't say what it is I have drempt, some meaning, according to dreammoods.com:

*represents your raw emotions or immoral behaviors.

*indicate anger and aggression directed at you or someone else.

*symbolizes your passive and docile nature. You obey others without question. Alternatively, it represents maternal instincts or the desire to be cared for.

*suggests that you are experiencing some confrontation in your waking life. You feel victimized in a situation or that you are being targeted.

I promise people...I could NOT make this stuff up if I tried.  And trust - I am surely not trying. 

I use to love to dream.  Now I hate it.  And I teach my daughter not to hate anything.  I need relief. 

And I suppose these are called nightmares, not dreams. 

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{via}

On a brighter note, I will be getting that MRI that I need so desperately.  Waiting for the center to call for scheduling now...

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{via}

God knows I am trying....

:::::

I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?

~ John Lennon



8 comments:

Baby Shopaholic said...

So do you get any sleep? I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Is there no meds for this?

drollgirl said...

terrible dreams are no good. no good at all! i hope the worries and problems in your life disappear (if they are causing these nightmares) so that you can sleep easy again!

and i hope the mri test results are good and that you get the answers you are looking for!

Kelly at My Colorful Cottage said...

Meli I haven't been on in so long and just recently began to check blogs and blog again but I am so sorry to hear this is happening to such a sweet person...I truly hope you get the rest you need so badly very soon, you will be in my prayers:)

Rachel {Da Paura ♥} said...

I hope your dreams lighten up a bit! So awful and frustrating. Wishing you good luck with your MRI too, take care of yourself!

x
Rachel

Tia said...

Good luck, hopefully this is over for you soon!!

carrie1 said...

Here's to hoping you get your MRI soon! And in the mean time I hope the bad dreams let you have a break soon.

undomestic chica said...

I love that you're writing them down, even if you never publish. I keep hearing what a good release journaling is (and everyone keeps telling me to do it. Oops!) I hope you're getting some kind of relief by writing it down, even though I'm sure it's not enough. Again, I'm only a text or email away.

Taylor Morgan said...

I hope your nightmares stop! It really can ruin your days. I know the feeling. Here's to wishing you SWEET dreams! :) xoxo have a good night!

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