Thursday, February 10, 2011

It's official....I'm Bonnie!

So where is my Clyde!?!  Ha.  I can't count on the other one right now. ;-)

Okay, ya'll!  I am about to get real.  Real serious. 

{for the record, my .38 special looks just like that}

I obviously have a serious issue with thumbing my nose at the law.  Again, like earlier in the week, I am no criminal with regard to breaking into houses, or cars, or hurting people!  No, that's not my M.O. 

I speed.  I roll through stop signs.  I confess, I sometimes don't use a blinker.  Even though it is a royal pet peeve of mine, but I digress. 

Yesterday - I straight up did not heed the advice of Mr. Police Officer.  There was a MAY-JAH back up off of my exit from I-10, which is a HUGE highway through Houston, Texas.  You see, we were having rolling black outs once again because the temps are frigid here.  And apparently they are running.out.of.elec.tric.ity?  Huh?!

Anyway - the traffic lights were completely you have to treat them like a four way stop.  Yeah, that's all fine and dandy except when at least hundreds and hundreds of cars are in front of you....UGH!  The last time this happened at this took me OVER AN HOUR!  No lie.  To turn a block.  No lie.  Completely ridiculous.  Wasn't gonna happen yesterday. 

So, I had a splendid idea to turn into Methodist Hospital parking lot and go over to Park Row Lane, which is flowing like fresh running water.  Terrific idea....

Okay, not so great idea.  I approach an officer who flags me to roll down my window. 

Me:  "I am just making my way over to Park Row, sir...."  **smile smile, bat my eyes*
Officer:  "Sorry ma'am, that's why I am here.  You will need to do a U-turn."
Me:  "Really?!"  **batting my long lashes and flashing a sweet smile**
Officer:  "I know, I am really sorry, but everyone will start doing that!"
Me:  "Okay."  **with an ugly, you suck look on my face**

I pull up like I am about to U-turn.  And I really was going to U-turn, but then I saw him pretty wrapped up in other cars that pulled up behind me.....

So, what did I decide to do? 

Make sure he ain't looking and skiiiiirrrrrtttt right through the parking lot and hit Park Row going about 50 to nothing....fantastic!  Now we are rollin'....

Then what do I see?

Yep, red and blue lights flashing behind me.  Grrrrrreat!!!!  Here I go again....

So, I jump outta the car....

Me:  "Officer, I am sorry.  **using my quick thinking motherly skills**  But, I have a 3 year old that has to go to the bathroom.  And the last time this happened, we were stuck on that corner for over an hour!!!" 
Officer:  "Ma'am, I have kids too.  You should have just told me that.  Go about your way....."
Me:  "Thank you SO much!  I am really sorry...."  **thinking if I should ask for his number 'cause mister mister is fiiiiiine** 

But, I keep it moving. 

Remind me again.  I am Meli Faif. I becoming a Bonnie!?! 


carrie1 said...

ba ha ha ha... classic! and you know he was probably cursing you out in his head when he saw you go through anyways. =)

bananas. said...

oh how i wish i had balls of bonnie-esque steel! i'm such a law abiding sucks! i would've waited in that hour mess cuz unlike you i don't have 3 year old to use as a excuse. no fair! may need to dress my dogs up with red curly hair. haha jk.

undomestic chica said...

Hahaha! You rebel. this story cracks me up

How Tiff's Tiny Universe came to be: said...

Grrrl, you crack my s*@!$ up. Hilarous story. I definitely think you are turning into one brave Bonnie, miss thang. Now everytime I read your blog Foo Fighters "Hero" will be playing in my mind.

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