Quotography - Happiness

I am completely bending the rules today by picking two photos, but I just can't help it!!!!  And you will soon understand why.

A.  She makes my heart melt! 

And B.  I couldn't help but use this photo again today!!! 

We are welcoming Nicolasa back from a small hiatus and I am so happy she is gracing us with her presence once again.  I have missed her and I truly wish her all the happiness!  I would say that the world has to offer...but we all know happiness starts with ourselves.  Cheers!

Manic Monday - 04.16.12

Obstacles don’t have to stop you.

If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up.

Figure out how to climb it,

go through it,

or work around it.

~ Michael Jordan

*all images via my 1st Senior Portrait Session from this past weekend.

Today I Remember....

...my friend, Juny!  Because today he would be turning 34!  Instead, he will always be FOREVER 31. 

I miss you friend....

And I still pray the person or people that cut short your precious life are brought to justice.  I will never give up hope for that.  I love you.

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When you were born you cried and the world rejoiced. 

Live your life in a manner so that when you die the world cries and you rejoice!

*We are crying, and I know you are rejoicing with your Lord and Savior!

hard, yet fond memories...

This time of year is hard for me.  I lost two really special people in my life around this time....last year and the year prior.  Both extremely important people in my life. 

And I miss them more than ever. 

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Juny and Mama Cheryl....I miss you.  Your spirit continues to live within me....

Manic Monday - 07.11.11

When I look down, I miss all the good stuff...when I look up, I just trip over things.

 ~ Ani Difranco

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Learn to limit yourself; to content yourself with some definite work; dare to be what you are and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not; and to believe in your own individuality.

~ Henri Frederic Amiel

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So yeah, of course there is a backstory to my Manic Monday.  There always is....I guess I feel the need to share and explain, step by step....how manic and utterly crazy I am.  Perhaps?

My mom always joked that she should have named me Grace.  Any guesses why?  Yeahhh.....

Same reason I tell Layla, with her clumsy ass!!!  Ha...although we carry GRACE within us...we don't have a bit of it! 

grace (gras) n.

1. Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion.

2. A characteristic or quality pleasing for its charm or refinement.

3. A sense of fitness or propriety.

4.   a. A disposition to be generous or helpful; goodwill.*

      b. Mercy; clemency.

You see...#1 of the above is what I do not always have.  #2 and #4...I got those down!  But I really needed #1 on Saturday at the Mall.

After a very long day in the sun, a birthday party and non-stop go, go, go...I headed to the Mall with Layla to pick up a birthday gift for my nephew...my 15 year old nephew TODAY...Ethan....Happy Birthday dude.  I decided to throw her butt in her stroller I still have stowed away in my trunk.  There was no way I was gonna haul her butt all over the Mall searching for the Aeropostale store.  Nope, so in the stroller she went. 

So, I pause to make our way across the crosswalk of the Mall Parking Lot.  I can tell this big red truck is irritated and doesn't really want to slow down to let me and my baby girl cross.  But, they stop anyway.  And annoyingly wave me across the road. 

So, me, being the graceful* (see above definition 4a) person that I am...I put a lil pep in my step and tried to scoot across the road so they can go about their uber important way....

**insert drainage grate**

**add stroller wheel**

**combined with a "pep in my step"**

It did not end too well for me and Layla.  And the stroller.  But, we all survived....thankfully Layla was unhurt.  I, however, am another story.  But this too shall pass, right!?! 

I will live to fall another day!

Oklahoma Family Trip

I can say get ready for picture overload, but I am fairly certain ALL of my posts have picture overload in them, so...what's the point!?  Plus, when one brother-in-law has SEVEN kiddos...of course picture overload must be present!

I hope you enjoy exploring our Oklahoma trip via pictures.

She is the reason why we were there.  She is now a High School graduate, with Honors.  Who received a great deal of scholarships.  We are so proud of her.  This is Sidney.  Isn't she gorgeous?!?  I know...

And just so you all can understand how all of this breaks down...lemme start from the beginning. 

Richard is my dude.  And Layla's daddy.  Yeah.  Richard has an older sister, Melissa.  And a younger brother, Jason.

{Jason, Richard, Melissa}

Melissa is the fabulous mother to Sidney.  This is them.

Jason is married to Cristine.  Together they have SEVEN kiddos.  This is them.

And here goes their brood.

Jason Jr., age 10 {aka Lil J, J or Junior}

Jaiden, age 7 {aka Bubba, Bubbers}

Javeon, age 6 {aka Daddy Bo}

Jayshaun, age 5 {aka Fat Macka, Macka}

Jalecia, age 5 {aka 'Lecia}

Jaliana, age 4 {aka NaNa}

Jacobi, age 3 {aka Cobi, CoCo}

Are you still with me?!  Good.  Try keeping up with all of them on a Wal Mart excursion...it's a battle.  I dare you to try. 

{What a riot!?!}

And becasue I know ya'll love to see Meli Faif all up in your Life....

{Me and the dude...he looks thrilled! Don't he?}

You are welcome.  Kidding.

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And now because I absolutely adored this snap shot....I am including this shot of Jaiden in The Paper Mama's Best Photo Challenge. 

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Congratulations again, Miss Sidney.  Now go and change the world!!!

You are educated.  Your certification is in your degree.  You may think of it as the ticket to the good life.  Let me ask you to think of an alternative.  Think of it as your ticket to change the world. 

~Tom Brokaw

Time for Transition

I am not a completely open book for all to read here on my blog.  Most of the time I just put the happy, fun, funny or family related things on here.

Truth is I build walls.  Fast.  And they are usually very strong and hard to break down. 

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And I have been building a lot of them lately.  As my self defense.  So I don't hurt.  Or so I can't be hurt as bad.  So that I am strong.  So when something or someone hits me (figuratively) - the wall takes the blow.  It may crumble a bit.  But, not my heart.  Not my soul.  Not my being.  Even though I am still trying to figure out WHO that being is.  And where I belong.

I have always been very protective of myself.  Of my feelings.  I am even protective of my family and my friends.  No one likes their feelings hurt.  But, it happens.  And it happens when people don't even mean to do it.  So, I just like to stay prepared.  So I build tall, strong walls. 

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Perhaps the above quote is true.  Time will tell. 

I have been vague in my personal relationship with the man I have loved since 1995.  Because this is not his blog, not our blog, he did not ask to be a part of it, so out of respect, I kept his appearances to a minimum. 

But, today I get honest.  Today I put it out there.  No turning back once this is posted.  Once it is written.  It is what it is.  This is my blog and I am choosing to write about my feelings today.  They just so happen to be tied to him. 

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 Together we have been through hell and back.  And God blessed us with a beautiful baby girl in 2007.  I will always love him for helping me bring that blessing to me.  Always.  What a gift!?  My love for him will always be here.  Within me.  Hidden behind those tall, tough walls I constructed. 

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We always had a great friendship, relationship, companionship and commitment.  We always made eachother laugh.  It worked for us.  For a long time, I might add.  Remember I said 1995.  But, lately, things just are NOT working.  Not clicking.  It's more like clashing!  On an all too often basis.  It has turned unhealthy.  For all involved. 

And I will not let Layla believe and see that conflict is an acceptable way of life.  Even though conflict is very much apart of our everyday world.  Here and abroad.  But, it it does not belong in a loving home environment.  I also understand and agree that disagreeing and having arguments is a healthy part of life.  If done fairly.  But, enough is enough.  I can't REFUSE to live this way any longer. 

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Believe me....I have tried.  Hard.  So so very hard.  For probably much too long.  So, when I say lately...it really is more like years.  I don't give up easily.  I have fought and fought.  For us.  For him.  For our lil family.  But, I have done all my spirit will allow me to spare....

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So now is the time.  I am reclaiming my happy spirit.  My complete and whole happy spirit....

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 ....now I am ready.....it is time for transition. 

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Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.

~ Joseph Campbell

I'm just not into it...

I tried to get "back to normal" - whatever the hell that means, but I have way too much on my mind to concentrate on the year of 1996.  Or any other year, for that matter.  And by the lack of players, I think ya'll will be fine with my decision. 

The things I do recall from 1996:

• 
  
  I graduated from Theodore Roosevelt High School in San Antonio, Texas.  We were the Rough Riders.  Long before DMX and his Ruff Ryders came about.  That's right, I'm reppin'!
• 
  
  Our class song was You Are Not Alone by Michael Jackson.  I am so not kidding!  But, the "it" crowd kinda re-named our class song to I Got 5 On It!  I still love Michael though...
• 
  
  In addition, our 5A Football Team won the State Championship our graduation year!  My dude was the star running back, and was on the cover of Texas Highschool Football magazine.  Just sayin'...I was Lieutenant Colonel of the dance team.  We were the Patriots!
• 
  
  I headed off to college in the Piney Woods of East Texas.  Stephen F. Austin State University.  Man, those were some of the best days of my life!
• 
  
  Me and the dude began our relationship...15 years later...we still hangin' on.  (barely)
• 
  
  And I adored him...his music, still do!

I know it seems hard sometimes but remember one thing.

Through every dark night,

theres a bright day after that.

So no matter how hard it get, stick your chest out, keep ya head up.... and handle it.

~ Tupac Shakur

{need to remember that quote right now...}

LOL!  Can you find me?  Circa 1997...I'm ahead one year, but so what?  This is just too hilarious not to post.  I am in that pic, with my sorority sisters, at a Crips and Bloods Fraternity Party.  We were gettin' our thug on....sorority style.  Ha!

Wordless Wednesday - Back to School

{images via}