so bad I can't even publish them here

I just thought my dreams were starting to "taper off" in the brutal, hostile, violent area...but I was wrong.  They were more distrurbing this weekend than they ever have been.  And that alone is disgusting. 

They are so upsetting I cannot and will not subject you to anymore.  I just save a draft.  And will never hit publish.  And I don't need to since they replay over and over in my waking mind. 

Although I won't say what it is I have drempt, some meaning, according to dreammoods.com:

*represents your raw emotions or immoral behaviors.

*indicate anger and aggression directed at you or someone else.

*symbolizes your passive and docile nature. You obey others without question. Alternatively, it represents maternal instincts or the desire to be cared for.

*suggests that you are experiencing some confrontation in your waking life. You feel victimized in a situation or that you are being targeted.

I promise people...I could NOT make this stuff up if I tried.  And trust - I am surely not trying. 

I use to love to dream.  Now I hate it.  And I teach my daughter not to hate anything.  I need relief. 

And I suppose these are called nightmares, not dreams. 

{via}

On a brighter note, I will be getting that MRI that I need so desperately.  Waiting for the center to call for scheduling now...

{via}

God knows I am trying....

:::::

I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?

~ John Lennon